I fell down the rabbit hole yesterday and it’s all Elaine Petrocelli’s fault. Well, perhaps that’s not quite fair, but it does explain why someone like me who can go months without noticing that short shorts are back in style, Lady Gaga is real, or that the iPhone is no longer the hot new thing is reeling with disbelief today.

August 26, The Huffington Post: “Heidi Montag sat down exclusively with Life & Style to tell-all about her plastic surgery regrets, revealing that she wants her outrageous G implants removed…More than nine months after she went under the knife on Nov. 20, Heidi says she is still in severe pain and her body has not gotten used to the over the top boob job.…Besides being unable to hug her four dogs or wear anything but custom-made clothing, “I’m obsessed with fitness but it’s impossible to work out with these boobs,” she says. “It’s heartbreaking. I can’t live an everyday life….”

There’s a picture if you’re interested (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/08/25/heidi-montags-breast-impl_n_693671.html). They are, indeed, very large boobs. Apparently, they are not the only parts of Heidi Montag that have been rearranged. A raft of story headlines below this post deals with previous Heidi Montag plastic surgery adventures. It may be worth noting that Ms. Montag issued a press release about the unhappy state of her anatomy. I have no idea who she is other than the possessor of super-sized surgical implants.

The Heidi Montag stories, videos, and photos are stacked with other top news stories and photos. You know, like who’s leaving Fox News, a scandal (or maybe just a faux pas) involving Miss Philippines, the excellent curviness of a pretty young singer (although it isn’t her singing the “article” is about, which you can probably figure out from the fact that the photo is so large you have to scroll to get the full effect), and an op-ed titled – and, no, I’m not making this up – “The Moral Landscape: Thinking About Human Values in Universal Terms.”

Into what Landscape have I fallen? Is this the Land of the Mad Hatter and his (her) Tea Party? Is it a joke? Is my confusion merely the result of having lived in a New York Times-NPR-Greg Palast bubble for too long? How did I miss the full impact of the degradation of professional journalism until, following a link on the wonderful, literate Book Passage book store site that promised to bring me to book blogs by Elaine Petrocelli, I bumped into Ms. Montag’s twin problems?

I’m not a cultural loss. I loved M.I.A.’s first album, I think Michelle Obama is fantastic, fist bump and all, and there’s creativity galore on YouTube and even cooler sites (see www.stumbleupon.com). I admire strong opinion even when I disagree, as long as it makes sense and respects its audience. But this brief exposure to What’s Hot, What’s News leaves me wondering who will be left to deal with real problems a couple generations from now – and with what reasoning skills. And I worry, too, about who is hugging Ms. Montag’s dogs.